THW Golf Headlines

Friday, February 21, 2014

The Weekend of Awesomeness

by AshTHW

This weekend’s competition started with a spirited team game with a face-off between Team Awesome and Team Oil Stain. The intrepid golfers started their night in the Great White North at Banff Springs. The teams of Bink and Ace versus Mac and Ash, Ender once again was not able to get a kitchen pass,  were full of confidence and ready to take on the opposing team. This team match was rather close the entire game remaining even for most of the event and only occasionally did Team Awesome show any sort of lead. This game was close to the end and Team Awesome barely eked out a win on the birdie of one MacTHW.

Round two saw the arrival of our friend from across the pond, Pointed Marlin, and another team game featuring Team Awesome Leviathan against Team Oil stain in an exhibition event. The competitors decided to take a trip to Celtic Manor for this event. Marlin was apparently a lucky charm for this team match as Team Awesome Leviathan took a commanding lead early in the round. Marlin played a very consistent game scoring a 78 and putting the Texans in dormie by the 13th hole. 

On the third an final round of this nigh the good luck charm switches sides and goes over to the Texans to create the team of The Dukes of Hazard. Not to be outdone in the name Ash and Mac play under the pseudonym of the Dukes of Awesome. At first the boys of Team Dukes of Hazard take the lead over the Dukes of Awesome, but remain close by only scoring plus one over them Awesome boys. The Dukes of Awesome were able to take the mantle of plus one or a couple holes only to be put to even for a few more. The birdie by Ace on the seventeenth put the hole in the coffin for them Awesome boys on hole 17 and gave the win to the Dukes of Hazard with a score of three up.

Saturday rolls around and Ender is allowed to come out and play and our friend from the Pacific Northwest, Wirenut,  joins us as well for some fiery competition. It is decided that the teams for tonight’s rounds were to be Colorado versus the rest of the World.

Round one is a preview for the upcoming Minor Tournament, PGA National. The teams are split with Mac, Ender, and Ash representing Colorado against Marlin, Binky, and Wirenut representing the World. The competition was fierce with the World striving to break away from Colorado by getting up by two at times. Colorado fought back and was able to take the game down to the wire and finish the match with a draw, thanks to a birdie by the might Macthw. mac was also able to throw up an impressive score of 79 to tie the current record holder of PGA National, the Binkdog.

Round two for this evening keeps the teams intact as they make their way to Pinehurst No. 2   Restored. Marlin issues a warning to the combatants, “Watch out! My move is calibrated!”. The World comes out of the gate fighting, going up by three by the fourth hole. It seems as though Marlin’s declaration was an inspiration for the World team as evidenced by their early scoring. After the first hole Team Colorado never saw the other side of the scoring and remain under until they went dormie on the 15th and the World snags a win with a score of four up.

The third and final round is at Valhalla Golf Club. The teams remain relatively the same with the departure of Marlin and the departure of anything resembling a game of golf for the Ashmeister; methinks too much of the fermented barley may have done him in. Team Colorado was on a mission this round after their loss to the World the previous. They started out slow but competitive by keeping it even for the first couple holes then Ender sunk three straight pars bring Colorado two up by the sixth. Before the front nine was behind them Colorado was able go up by another and keep it that way until the end. Team Colorado takes the game at three up by the sixteenth hole.

These were the headlines for the weekend of the 14th, thank you for reading and see you next time on the virtual links.

-ash

Monday, February 10, 2014

Marlin SandBAGS Another Major

by PointedMarlin

Team Housewares took to the Pebble links for their most recent Major and for 36 holes it was a toe to toe belter between the reigning Champion & The Young Upstart ... These are your headlines for the War on the Shore .... Fight!

Round 1
Eager to defend his own Major, Enderdog sets the early pace, telling everyone that his kids are gonna enjoy the truck poster, whilst from across the pond Marlin can be heard declaring his nerves standing on the first Tee. All that can be heard from ‘New Boy’ Wirenut48 is feedback so most instantly ‘mute’ him!
Ash whilst proclaiming to have pre-ordered his mid round drinks be sent to the caboose actually sees himself being passed over for that prodigious position for the first handful of holes and it wouldn’t be Tournament Weekend without Binkdog playing himself out of the Tournament by the back nine of round 1 - despite only being in third place and only 8 shots back from Enderdogs New Course Record of +5

Round 2
Marlin and Enderdog match each other shot for shot in what their playing partner Binkdog was later heard to proclaim in the clubhouse over a whiskey “Some of the most outstanding and exhilarating Move golf the world has ever seen” Marlin only sneaking the win courtesy of an Enderdog bogey on 18.
Elsewhere Ash goes on a charge halving his first round score and MacTHW also summons up a +9 to leave it looking like a 3 way fight at the top of the leaderboard.
New Boy Wirenut48 looks well settled in to 5th place & Binkdog holds 4th heading into Moving a Day

Round 3 - Moving Day
Moving Day at Team Housewares can often make or break a weekend. Will Marlin injure himself playing hockey? Will Enderdog have Book Club commitments? Will MacTHW’s fans carry him on their shoulders all the way to the top of the leaderboard?
Marlin starts out steady getting to -1 after 4 holes before making the turn at a couple over but the big news is ‘Wirenut48 came to play!’ proclaims Binkdog over Teamspeak. No one knows what Wirenut said as we all still had him muted!
Book club, a bit like Fight Club, is an unspoken evil that can quite literally make, or break a man. Enderdog doesn’t talk about what he reads but unfortunately it has the wrong sort of affect on his game not so much slipping as cascading down the leaderboard into 3rd by the end of Moving Day with a 21 over par - More King Lear than The Fundamentals of Golf?

Round 4
With a healthy lead but not an insurmountable one given its Move Golf, Marlin has his sights on Enderdog’s course record in round 4 leaving the Enderdog, MacTHW and Binkdog in the battle for second place!
MacTHW and Marlin set a good early pace with Enderdog even wishing Marlin a Merry Christmas after one to many Blue Arrows see the Ender-Charge halted. Wirenut48 seems to have rediscovered his earlier form, that’s a bad thing, and nails down 5th place early in round 4.
Marlin, MacTHW and Enderdog finish a few holes ahead and settle down to see if Binkdog can overhaul Enderdog in the battle for 3rd. A 16 over par just edges him out however and Enderdog claims valuable THW Cup points.

Final Standings

The Marlin wins his 4th major of the Playstation Season missing out on Enderdog’s Course Record by 2 strokes

Those were your THW headlines for the War on The Shore aka The Sandbagger Classic

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Your Invitation To The 2014 Sandbagger Classic

by MacTHW

It’s nearly time for THW Golf’s fourth annual Sandbagger Classic at Pebble Beach. Not only is this enderdog’s signature tournament, he also has the distinction of being the only player to win it, winning all three previous Sandbagger Classics. Can he successfully defend his 2013 championship and make it four in a row?

Not if the rest of the THW Golfers have anything to say about it. Will Ash abandon the caboose and go for a win? Will ‘Marlin play all four rounds because this is a Major? Time will tell as nothing is certain except that binkdog will play himself right out of the tournament at some point before the third round.

Here is your official invitation to the 2014 Sandbagger Classic at Pebble Beach. Surf’s up!

Friday, November 29, 2013

Fun With Stats At Royal Invitational

by MacTHW

Here are some additional stats from the tournament weekend.
 
Our average round came out to 96.
 
Course Records Held:
 
1.) Enderdog 24.5
2.) MacTHW 12.5
3.) Binkdog 5
4.) PointedMarlin 4
 
Since we used the leaderboard, we also have access to additional stats, such as number of birdies, pars, bogies, etc. Here’s a quick graph I made in Numbers showing those stats, per player…go iPad!
 

 
Looking at the graph, we can see that while binkdog enjoyed the most number of birdies, he also scored the most triples.

Enjoy!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Enderdog Forces Playoff At THW Royal Invitational

by MacTHW

Did you think THW Golf played their last tournament of the calendar year? Think again and behold, the THW Royal Invitational at Royal Melbourne. That’s right, it’s tournament time. enderdog gets a Kitchen Pass from the boss and binkdog introduces a brand new player, Ace, to the club. Ash is onboard as well as binkdog and his nemesis MacTHW. The THW Leaderboard enjoys another beta test as bugs continue to be worked out. These are your headlines for the Royal Invitational weekend.

It was very windy on Friday as the golfers took to the tee box. They struggled to find their stride along the front nine. binkdog arrives first, albeit one stroke ahead of MacTHW. enderdog and new guy, Ace, battle it out for the caboose. The wind is still hanging around on the back nine but binkdog manages to extend his lead ever so slightly. After round one, binkdog(88) enjoys a three stroke lead over MacTHW(91). Ash(100) and enderdog(100) are tied for third and Ace(113) takes his place in the caboose.

Round two kicks off and the contenders jostle for position. Rarely a birdie in sight, pars are becoming more common. The blowup holes still exist and everyone is over par at the turn. MacTHW leads the pack with binkdog and enderdog three strokes behind. enderdog improves his position against binkdog along the back nine, taking back three strokes from the tournament leader. MacTHW refuses to cede ground to enderdog but also takes back three strokes from the leader. Ash shaves off four strokes from his previous round while Ace is still struggling with the game mechanics. MacTHW evens things out with binkdog and shares the win for round two with hard charging enderdog. MacTHW(88) and enderdog (88) best binkdog(91) by three while Ash(96) stays caboose free and Ace(112) remains steady.

After two rounds, binkdog and MacTHW are tied at +35. enderdog is in third at +44, Ash at +52 and Ace trails at +81. Tomorrow is Moving Day and anything can and has been known to happen.

Moving Day is upon us. Historically, binkdog is usually stuck in reverse and enderdog’s foot is stuck on the gas pedal. The festivities start now.

enderdog is fired up and starts a mad charge down the front nine. He has lots of ground to make up. No one can match enderdog’s scores and he hits the turn at a mere one over par. binkdog has his expected unexpected meltdown and drifts off-course. Ash must have gotten tangled up in the melted down bink-mess and suffers his own meltdown. enderdog slows down a little along the back nine, unable to maintain his front nine charge. Although for enderdog, the bogeys are rare and par is normal fare. Ash continues on the downward slide along the back. binkdog manages to get his game back on track but the damage appears to have been done on the front. After the 18th, enderdog arrives at the clubhouse with a 79 on the scorecard, a +7 for the round. This sets a new course record, beating the old record of 84. enderdog (79) handily wins the round. MacTHW (92) comes in second. binkdog (106) is third with Ace (113) in fourth and Ash (130) taking the caboose.

After round three, thanks to enderdog’s strong finish, he moves to first place at +51. MacTHW drops to second at +55. binkdog free falls to third at +69. Ash stays in fourth place at +110 and Ace rounds out the quintet at +122.

We don’t like them, but unfortunately, DNFs happen. Ash, quite disappointed with his perfomance last round, opts to drop out and not finish. Meanwhile, Ace is forced to DNF due to lack of a positively charged electron flow. In Texas speak, “Daggum, what happened to the lights?”. With Ash and Ace out, three golfers remain in the THW Royal Invitational.

With enderdog’s rapid rise up the leaderboard complete, it is still anyone’s game to win in round four. enderdog has been known to give away 25 strokes in one round. Time for round four…FIGHT!
 
Early indications show that binkdog is taking back strokes…from MacTHW. binkdog and enderdog go toe-to-toe along the front nine, with enderdog edging out binkdog by a pinkie-toe by the turn. MacTHW turns the dial to eleven and starts his own charge along the back. enderdog is caught in the wake of said charge and finds nothing but trouble from the 10th and on. binkdog strives to finish strong and cards two birdies along the back. MacTHW has a chance to finish the back nine at even par but triples the 18th. Meanwhile, enderdog finds nothing but bogey along the back, especially on the 15th, where he gets a +5 and then goes to bogey out on the 16th, 17th and 18th. binkdog (84) wins the round with MacTHW (87) coming in second and enderdog (91) taking third.
 
Unfortunately, binkdog’s rally in the fourth round was not enough to catch up with enderdog and MacTHW. However, MacTHW’s strong finish combined with the slight enderdog ender-melt creates a TIE between enderdog and MacTHW, each sitting at +70 after four rounds. A tie means only one thing, a trip to the Augusta Par 3 for a final, tie-breaking showdown. This is not enderdog and MacTHW’s first trip here. Historically, this course has not been very nice to MacTHW and favored enderdog. Was history about to repeat itself?
 
Round five…FORE?
 
binkdog plays along in hopes of busting MacTHW’s even par 27 at the Par 3. enderdog gives up a stroke first, on the 2nd. MacTHW goes on to bogey the 4th but to his surprise, enderdog cards a snowman, giving MacTHW a five stroke lead after the 4th. They would then both go on to par the 5th and 6th and bogey the 7th and 8th. MacTHW still enjoys a five stroke lead…but would it be enough? enderdog looks to stock up his Hopes and Dreams jars by yelling out “Tweeeeet” early, scoring a bird on the 18th. True to form, MacTHW sends his tee shot into the water, having to hit his third shot out of the pine straw along the edge of the water. To play it safe, he lands his next shot on the very back fringe of the green. His downhill putt manages to reach the cup, then keeps going past the cup and nearly off the green. His fifth shot, an uphill putt also misses the cup, a few feet left…the perfect Mac zone. MacTHW would need to make this putt to win outright…OR…risk sending this game into another tie-breaker. Two feet, moving to the right. Many of these putts have resulted in lippopotamuses. Or worse, a knib. MacTHW steadily draws back the Chicken Stick, pushes forward…and SINKS THE PUTT! The People’s Champ prevails at the Augusta Par 3. Fans rush out of the bleachers and carry the golfer to the clubhouse so he can sign his official round-winning scorecard. binkdog’s hopes of snagging a course record are dashed by a double on the 5th and a triple on the 9th, although, he does manage to tie MacTHW for first at the Par 3 round.
 

 
Final results as shown on the official THW Leaderboard
 

 
Many thanks to all that played in the Royal Invitational. The forced playoff turns the fun dial up another notch. Ace, hang in there and you’ll be forcing your own playoffs in the near future. The next THW Golf tournament is on January 24th—the Golfsmack Open at Torrey Pines. enderdog gets to defend his 2013 championship win.