THW Golf Headlines

Monday, May 28, 2012

Blue Monster and Wolf Creek Now Available For Purchase

by MacTHW

EA is now accepting our money for two additional courses not previously available for purchase—TPC Blue Monster at Doral and Wolf Creek. Each course costs 400 Microsoft points for unlimited play (on Xbox).

Hopefully this infusion of cash will help cash-strapped EA put out next year’s Tiger Woods game with only half the bugs of this year’s version.

The courses are now available for Course Pro status on the Course leaderboard.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

DailyGate Resolved

by MacTHW and the THW Fair Gaming Commission

DailyGate has been peacefully resolved.

After investigating claims of unfair scoring of games played in the THW Country Club, the THW Fair Gaming Commission has implemented new point values for Daily and Weekly tournaments played in the Country Club.

The following changes are being made. All points will be corrected retroactively. No more changes will be made to the scoring system for the remainder of the season.

If you play in the Daily and Weekly tournaments, you will gains the following points:

1st - .200
2nd - .150
3rd - .100
4th and over - .050

In addition to that, if only one person partakes in a Daily or Weekly tournament, one has to score PAR or better in order to attain first place. Scoring over PAR will net a player second place. This rule is only in effect if one person plays in a tournament.

Daily and Weekly games are not eligible for Course Pro status.

Anyone who plays in a country club game must email a notice to the mailing list or else the game will not be counted.

DailyGate has been resolved and we can get back to more important matters at hand—playing TW13.

Mac

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Texas Golfers Ride Heat Wave To Record Scores - Yee-haw!!

by binkdog

It started out as a bleak friday affair, with our fearless senior duo of Mac and Ash putting the clubs away for a much anticipated bike ride in the hills of South Dakota, ze5 MIA and Ender unable to start early.  Binkdog and Dudesquared decided that they would be the early shift and get in a game or two before Ender arrived.  Our fearless duo headed out to the old white TPC course at GreenBrier.  Expecting windy weather and rough greens, they were in for a surprise - the wind was absolutely calm .... too calm ..... the calm before the storm?  These are your headlines for Friday night , May 18th.

Round one .... FIGHT !!!

Dude came out of the gate fast with an early birdie on #1, but followed up with a bogey on #2, whose pin location is better to deal with than in wii-land. Binkdog was able to convert to a birdie and grab the lead.  The birdies were flowing for the binkdog, who went back to back on the 4th and 5th hole. after another bogey from dude, binkdog convinced the jr. texan to trust the “marker” for distance.  dude responded with birdies on #6 and #7.  Both golfers ran into bogey buzzsaw on the par 3 8th, but both finished the front with yet another birdie.  With only one bogey and a handful of birdies, binkdog had the lead at the turn at 4 under par with dudesquared hot on his heels at 2 under. dudesquared makes a push on the back with back to back birdies on 11 and 12 to pick up a shot, but binkdog gets it back with a bird on 13.  And then it happened - the “dudesquared” choke - back to back double bogies sent him reeling back to even par as binkdog avoided disaster in the middle stretch, and then proceeded to finish birdie, eagle, birdie for a record breaking 60 !!! WOW !!! DUDE managed a 3 under and was heard muttering as he left the course - “man I shoot a 67 and lose by 7 ... “.  Binkdog was seen kissing the green mumbling something about his hard work paying off, and now’d they would respect him, and something unintelligible that sounded like daggum or yee haw - we’re just not sure ... 

Round two - FIGHT !!

after hearing that anybody can apparently shoot a 60, enderdog put down the tv remote and got online to join binkdog and dude at pebble beach.  Dude was looking for revenge, ender was looking for a win, and binkdog was looking for validation of his record-shattering 60.  Ender immediately got into bogeytown and found himself battling himself uphill.  dude, looking for revenge stayed bogey free on the front 9 threw 5 birdies down at his opponents.  Ender kicked the bogey habit on the 6th hole for 2 birdies in a row and binkdog managed a single birdie vs 2 bogeys.  At the turn, dude held a commanding lead of 31 vs bink’s 37 vs Ender’s 39.  The back 9 at pebble turned into more of the same, with the dude picking up another shot on par to finish at -6.  Binkdog found bogeys and double-bogeys early to hand 2nd place back to ender, who turned in an eagle and 2 birdies on the back.  Final scores - dude fired a 6 under 66, with ender at +1 for a 73, and bink in caboose-land with a +5 77. Daggum ,  Choo Choo !!! Binkdog was heard giving up a big “yeeeee: haw as the conductor let him come out of the caboose to sound the horn of anti-awesomeness .......! Ender was on mute, but sources tell us he was overheard at the ender residence cursing the cursor.

Round 3 - FIGHT !!

With binkdog and ender smarting from the beatdown dude just handed to them - the duo challenged the jr. texan to another round.  This was not their smartest move of the evening.  Dude reached into the land of bdub lore with a flawless front 9 consisting of 7 birdies for a score of -7 and 28 !! The older dogs could not keep pace even though bink was hot early, a pair of bogeys derailed him from a challenging score, finishing at -1 at the turn. Ender played the part of hot and cold well, scoring 4 birdies and 3 bogeys to tie binkdog at -1.  Was the impossible possible ? Could the jr. texan not let daddy have the spotlight for a single night?  Would he break the 60 mark set just a short while ago ??? Apparently he did not get the message about respecting your elders and he came out with 3 birdies in the first 4 holes on the back 9!  Ender was about to file a complaint with THW central that dude was “doping”. Was there any stopping this kid?  Did he have a mcilroy meltdown in him?  Would the “dudesquared choke” happen twice in the same night ? Apparently not ... binkdog and enderdog were just spectators to history, flies on the wall, witnesses to awesomeness.  As they battled for mediocrity, dude followed up his 3 birdies with an eagle/birdie performance on 15 and 16.  His only blemish was a bogey at the 17th hole. Ender made a serious charge for the caboose on 18, responding to bink’s birdie with a triple bogey to hand 2nd place to the whinedog.  As they reached the clubhouse, bink and ender realized that they had just witnessed awesomeness and greatness the likes of which we’ve only seen from b-dub.  Dudesquared finished with a 12 under 59 for a new THW record in xbox land!!! Bink and Ender fell to their virtual knees and paid their respects to the new King of the THW scoring mountain - the jr. from Texas with a slight drawl but an inner drive that may propel him to the points title this year!  Final tally for binkdog was a 3 under 68, and Ender ‘s caboose run ended in a 3 over 74.  I think somebody heard binkdog mumbling ... “man I shoot a 68 and I lose by 9 !!”

59, 60, 66 - are these the new normal?  Have we turned the corner and scoring will be in the low 60s, or was it just one of those weird nights, where the weather was great, and the golfing was even better?  Only time will tell - stay tuned to http://www.teamhousewares.com for all the action!

Friday, May 25, 2012

DailyGate

by MacTHW

DailyGate has erupted on the mailing list in regards to the THW scoring system for Daily and Weekly tournaments in the Team Housewares Country Club. A disgruntled binkdog claims the point values are too high and heavily favors playing in Daily tournaments over our customary weekend games and tournaments.

Accusations have been lobbied against MacTHW, claiming this is his way to get back atop the leaderboard.

“The house always wins”, said enderdog, seeming to back his fellow Team binkerton teammate even though rumors have been swirling the team is set to dissolve at any point now.

More on DailyGate as details develop.

Mowed Down at TPC Sawgrass

by MacTHW

Time is here for another tournament at Team Housewares. It’s a major with lots of points up for grabs as enderdog gets prepared to defend his title at the THW Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass. Who will step up to the plate and knock enderdog off his perch? The island green at the 17th looks inviting but will surely be the cause of some water-bound golf balls. With calibrated Kinects at the ready, our golfers head to the tee box at TPC Sawgrass. These are your headlines for the THW Players Championship.

A drawback to winning a lot of tournaments means that eventually one has to defend a lot of tournaments…something enderdog is coming to find out. Although, the ender-est of dogs can rest a bit easier, as one of the serious contenders for the championship takes himself out of the tournament before it even begins. The young rookie dudesquared once again gets pre-tourney jitters, cracking under the pressure and withdrawing from the contest. It could be argued that it’s better this way than leading for two rounds and then dropping out as pressure on the leader mounts. ze5 joins the fray, playing in his first THW tournament in quite some time.

Five contenders step up and tee off in round one of the THW Players Championship. enderdog takes a commanding lead at the turn but it is not without protest from the gallery, as binkdog argues that enderdog does not have the exact same wind conditions as the rest of the pack. Ash and Mac distract binkdog and get him back on track to whining about a supposed Xbox patch that makes him play bad when in actuality it seems to be dramatically enhancing his gameplay. enderdog continues his charge along the back with no one able keep pace. enderdog turns in a 70 at the end of round one, besting his Team binkerton teammate by eight strokes.

ze5 finds the competition too fierce and abandons after round one. This leaves four golfers for the start of round two. binkdog’s whining must have gotten to enderdog, who arrives at the turn in third place, losing six strokes to his rival. It looks like Ash is making a run for the border, as he ties binkdog for the lead after nine. binkdog extends his lead as he charges down the back nine. Strangely, no one complains about binkdog’s low score. Most of the complaining is about an alleged patch that hinders binkdog’s gameplay, even though binkdog now leads the tournament by two strokes after two rounds.

The golfers break for the evening and rest up for rounds three and four on Saturday.

The Texan tees off Saturday with a loud resounding Yeeeee-haw! as he attempts to put some distance between himself and enderdog who always seems to load up the moving van and re-locate himself to the top of the leaderboard during round three. Everyone is looking to gain some ground and all scores are in the thirties after nine holes. binkdog is unrelenting on the back and adds more strokes to his lead while enderdog’s moving van gets three flats and stalls out.

binkdog enters round four with a seven stroke advantage but he is fully aware that can easily be erased by one bad hole or one cruel Kinect-induced incident. Will he crack under the pressure. After all, it’s been a while since the Lone Star dog has been atop the leaderboard after three rounds. enderdog is well known for his late-game comebacks. Ash and Mac are so far back it would take a miracle for either to claim the crown. enderdog is distracted and gets run over by his own moving van, falling back another twelve strokes…at the turn. Ash trails binkdog by one as they head to the 10th. binkdog runs into some trouble and Ash takes advantage to win the round, besting the WhineDog by two and finishing round four with a score of PAR and a tick in the W column.

Final standings after four rounds:

It would appear that the tournament drought in Texas is finally over. After going without a win during the entire Tiger Woods 2012 season, binkdog brings the shirt back to Texas by winning the 2012 THW Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass. Congratulations on a game played consistently and for not cracking under the great pressure one must endure to become a THW champion.

binkdog now also gets to enjoy his number one ranking at THW Golf, although the rest of the pack is sure to be in hot pursuit. How long will his reign last? Join us next week for more headlines and find out. Thanks to everyone who took part in the tournament. See you next week and online for the Team Housewares Country Club Daily tournaments, now underway, every day.