THW Golf Headlines

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Guest Headlines

by binkdog

In one of our Els rounds in the rain,I fired a 69, Mac broke it with a 67, and enderdog piled on with a new course record of 66!! That was fun - anybody’s record for most of that round.

We then tried to beat wolf creek - 70 was the best - no new records.

Then we hopped to scottsdale - enderdog tied it twice (66) but couldn’t take the record. We are planning (in spite of mac’s howling and protests and bogus decrees about it being locked ) a special Christmas eve daytime gathering sometime today so we can break mac’s record while he is unable to defend like I was on els he’s lucky we’ll all be busy tonight, or we’d take even more records tonight !!!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Who Let the Wolf Out?

by MacTHW

enderdog and MacTHW decide to move the Occupy campaign to Wolf Creek and it was rather short lived. After five attempts, enderdog breaches the record by a mere stroke and makes Wolf Creek all his, his, his.

enderdog shoots a 68 at Wolf Creek, which may just be good enough to hang around for quite some time.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Occupy Els Officially Ends, Mission Accomplished

by MacTHW

The links are empty Friday evening as everyone has other places to be—Ash and Mac head to the high country, seeking the perfect Christmas tree. The mighty lumberjacks return on Saturday evening to partake in the ongoing Occupy Els rally that has gripped the THW Golf landscape since early December. One golfer finally summons the power to relieve binkdog of the burden of defending his turf and occupies Els. This should be the last installment of the Occupy Els headlines.

Ash and Mac get the rally going Saturday evening and the scores are close. MacTHW manages a three stroke victory for round one.

The Els, Round 1

Not wanting to be left outside on the porch, the rookie ‘dog joins the fray and it’s a three-man assault on The Els. enderdog edges out MacTHW by two strokes but the record is still safe in binkdog’s paws.

The Els, Round 2

Ash retires for the evening, leaving enderdog and MacTHW to carry on. Neither player wants to give up a loss nor points on the leaderboard both golfers put up a 36 on the front and a 38 on the back, resulting in a tie for round three.

The Els, Round 3

enderdog is determined to make this course HIS, HIS, HIS and calls for another round. MacTHW leads at the turn but gives up ground to the rookie along the back. enderdog, with a course record shimmer in his eyes, arrives at the 18th, needing birdie to capture the course. His shot falls slightly short of the cup and doesn’t clear the ridge. enderdog putts it in for PAR but leaves the record on the table.

The Els, Round 4

AGAIN, AGAIN are the cries as enderpup and MacTHW tackle The Els for a fifth time this Saturday evening. Only this time, it looks like MacTHW has found his groove, leading at the turn and on pace for a shiny record. His hopes are dashed as he runs into bogey on the 16th and 17th, setting up a must-Eagle situation for The People’s Champ. Can he deliver in three strokes or less? Negative. The pitch is close, but not enough to deliver an Eagle.

The Els, Round 5

Having come close enough to get a scent of victory, naturally a sixth game was on! MacTHW loses focus as enderdog rushes to the turn at 33. MacTHW runs into a Bogey-Buzzsaw along the back, dashing any hope of victory this time around. enderdog, musters his enderdetermination and keeps it together until the 17th, when bogey rears it’s ugly head. This sets up a must-birdie scenario for the 18th. enderdog keeps it in the fairway and pitches it onto the green, clearing the ridge on shot three, leaving a fairly straight enderputt for victory. enderdog keeps his cool, sinks the putt and finally puts an end to the Occupy Els rally.

The Els, Round 6

Congratulations to enderdog on a game well played. There have been over twenty attempts at this course and everyone has had their fair share of tries. Enjoy the record, enderdog. The Els course may go unplayed for quite a while.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

A Whistling Ash Converts Goose-Egg Into Hockey Stick, Goes for the Win

by MacTHW

The Occupy Els movement refuses to go away. The contenders attempt to keep chipping away at the record but it seems that it is pretty much set in stone at this point. Ash converts a goose-egg into a win by besting both enderdog and MacTHW at Whistling Straits. Meanwhile, MacTHW searches high and low for his golf swing, which went missing a few weeks ago. Perhaps a reward will speed it’s return. These are your headlines for the THW Golf non-tournament, Occupy Els revival weekend.

binkdog spends his afternoon crunching numbers at THW Golf, which must be extremely tiring because he then proceeds to sleep through tee time, leaving Ash, enderdog and MacTHW no choice but to return to The Els Club one more time!

enderdog wants the record, but alas, so does MacTHW. Both players end up shooting a 70, having to share points for the win and leaving the record safely in binkdog’s hands.

The Els Club:

Up next, it seems only fair to take a crack at a MacTHW course, so he offers up Pinehurst in a special one-time offer. Things do not go well and all three golfers hit the turn at 43. MacTHW manages to put a few circles on the board along the back nine—two more than enderdog. MacTHW successfully defends his course and lets the contenders know the show is over. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Pinehurst:

Next on the playlist is Torrey Pines, the scene of the upcoming Golfsmack Open. Scores are close at the turn, still anyones game. Ash turns up the heat along the back and looks to make a play for the lead. A birdie by enderdog late in the game keep him one stroke ahead, while Ash and MacTHW have to settle for a tie for second.

Torrey Pines:

Whatever malady is affecting MacTHW seems to have spread to enderdog. The golfing trio head to Whistling Straits next. Ash leads the pack at the turn and only cedes one stroke along the back. Ash struts to the clubhouse with a 77 on the scorecard, and his first victory of the TW2012 season!

Whistling Straits:

binkdog finally awakens from his deep slumber and joins the gang at Bethpage Black, setting up the only team game of the weekend. MacTHW goes low and leads at the turn. He holds off the competitors and takes the win with a 68.

Bethpage Black:

In the team effort, Team Awesome takes an early lead, starting with birdie on the 1st. Team binkerton manages to get back to All Square by the turn and then some well-timed birdies along the back allow them to go for a 3UP victory on the 16th.

Ash takes off for the evening and the remaining golfers take another crack at The Els Club. binkdog leads at the turn and hangs on throughout the back leaving enderdog and MacTHW to battle it out for second.

The Els Club:

At this point, a smug binkdog suggests one more round at The Els Club. All players go low but not enough circles are appearing on the scorecards, not enough to offset the squares that keep showing up, anyways. Through the 17th it still appears to be anyones game. The ‘dogs step up while MacTHW squanders a chance at a three-way tie.

The Els Club:

In a moment of deja vu, binkdog once again can not separate himself from his pillow and enderdog’s kitchen pass is un-surprisingly denied.

Ash and MacTHW decide to take another trip to Dubai but things derail early with some ugly squares on the scorecard. An attempt to salvage things on the back fails as both players arrive at the 19th without a record.

The Els Club:

The two golfers take a final squat behind some bushes at The Els Club and bid the course farewell and take off for a preview round at Torrey Pines, where the greens refuse to show any mercy to either player.

Torrey Pines:

After nearly 15 attempts at The Els Club, binkdog retains his course pro status. The course may eventually fall into someone else’s hands, but the time does not appear to be now. The Occupy Els campaign may have to rest for a few weeks and re-gain momentum for a time when binkdog is out of town.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Occupy Els

by MacTHW

After binkdog ponders taking the days following Turkey Day off, Ash proclaims it to be an Occupy Els: Take All the Bink Courses weekend. And with that, the THW Golfers pitched their tents along the fairways of The Els Club and dug in for an extended stay in the Dubai heat. binkdog braces for the onslaught as Ash, enderdog and MacTHW attempt to pry his grip on the course record—a deceivingly easy-to-beat 69. Would the occupiers emerge victorious or does binkdog successfully evict the filthy, unwashed squatters from his course? These are your headlines for the Occupy Els weekend.

Ash and MacTHW are the first to arrive at the The Els Club. Ash shoots a pair of 39s and MacTHW a pair of 37s. Good scores in general but not enough to take a course record.

The Els Club:

binkdog arrives to survey the situation and attempts to show the protestors how records are set. MacTHW appears to be warming up as he shoots a pair of 36s, good enough to best binkdog for a win, but the Els record still holds steady at 69.

The Els Club:

enderdog finally arrives to set up camp in protest of binkdog’s record and joins the fray at the start of the third round of the evening. enderdog wastes no time and goes low…31 at the turn. He either loses focus or gets nipped by a buzzsaw and goes off track, shooting a 39 on the back, missing the course record by two strokes.

The Els Club:

The arrival of enderdog also signals the start of team matches as Team Awesome once again butts heads with Team binkerton. In typical fashion, Team binkerton is 4UP at the turn, but the scrappy Team Awesome players put a stop to the losses on the 10th. Then, a string of birdies starting on the 14th by MacTHW launch Team Awesome into the lead and eventually 2UP for victory.

Attempt four at the Els is lead by enderdog and MacTHW, both hitting the turn at 35. MacTHW falls back two strokes and enderdog again comes in just two strokes shy of the record.

The Els Club

In the team effort, both teams stay within two wins of one another but Team binkerton eventually prevails on the 17th with 2UP.

Taking a break from The Els Club, the golfers head to St. Andrews—another binkdog dominated course. enderdog cools off a bit as it is binkdog and MacTHW leading at the turn this time around. Both competitors give up precious strokes on the back allowing enderdog to barely sneak by for the win.

St. Andrews

Team Awesome strikes first and goes 1UP on the 1st. They keep it together until the 10th, when Team binkerton brings the game back to All Square. The binkertons take another hole on the 11th and another on the 15th. Unanswered by Team Awesome, Team binkerton takes the round at 2UP.

Back to Occupy Els for the final round of Friday evening…the binkdog record still holding strong. True to a pattern, MacTHW leads at the turn but implodes along the back. binkdog finishes strong and is the only player on Friday evening that can match the course record of 69. The Els Club continues to be ruled under the thumb of binkdog.

Saturday brings a new day at the Occupy Els occupation. Unfortunately for enderdog, the enderwife refuses to approve enderdog’s kitchen pass for Saturday. With that, his sit-in at The Els Club is over and he packs up his tent and leaves the premises.

The remaining occupiers face off with binkdog at The Els Club for the second night in a row. Things look promising for MacTHW during round one but binkdog is there to match him step for step. The round ends in a tie—binkdog and MacTHW both at 73.

Things don’t look much better for round two. Again, MacTHW leads at the turn but falls to pieces on the back allowing binkdog yet another victory. The record, however, still stands strong and mostly unchallenged.

The Occupy Els movement had better kick into high gear to unseat binkdog from his seat of power at The Els. Ash and MacTHW take themselves out of competition early on as binkdog strolls to another victory.

The defiant protestors muster up the energy for one more round. Surely the old ‘dog must be getting tired by now. To demonstrate why binkdog is the current course pro at The Els, he fires off a pair of 35s which go unmatched by the competitors.

And with that final defeat, the Occupy Els campaign goes down in flames. After ten attempts and the closest to beating record being binkdog himself, the Occupy campaign is over. binkdog yells “Git off my lawn, dagum!” and blasts the pesky troublemakers with the water-canon, crumpling their tents and sending them running for cover.

Thanks to Ash for creating an excellent theme for the weekend and to binkdog for skillfully defending his turf. See everyone next week.