Sunday, October 02, 2011
binkdog’s Quest for Wal-Mart Leads Him to Colorado
by MacTHW
THW Golf takes a break from the virtual world and it’s members play a few rounds of golf, both mini and non-mini, on terra firma. binkdog invades Colorado to hang with his fellow THW golfers. Team rivalries extend to the real world as Team Awesome battles Team binkerton at the mini-links. binkdog then takes on the Colorado golfers at the Fitzsimons Golf Course in Aurora. Does virtual translate to real world? These are your super-sized, special-edition headlines for the binkdog Colorado Tour weekend.
Dorks Unite
After losing the Bolt-Action Championship to MacTHW, binkdog was in awe of MacTHW’s game playing prowess and immediately rushed to Colorado for the express purpose and honor of presenting the winning game shirt to MacTHW himself. binkdog also brought along his offspring in hopes that they too could bask in the glow of MacTHW’s awesomeness. His trip spanned Colorado up and down the I-25 corridor. Colorado Springs to Estes Park. A trip to the THW-famous Aqua Golf where he would set foot on the Santa Fe and Platte River courses. A round of—real—golf at the Fitzsimons Golf course, which would eventually culminate with the Bolt-Action Challenge shirt presentation, surely the highlight of the entire trip. Afterwards, there would good eats at BJs Restaurant where binkdog and Dude would get to meet THW players from the gaming past, zeke and Havoc, as well as the entire enderfamily, including the ender-spouse who likes to refer to the THW Golfing group as dorks. A good time was had by all and already a plan was hatched for another Uniting of the Dorks next year…in Texas.
Awesome Shutout at the Mini-Links
Team Awesome dresses for the occassion
Team binkerton ready to do battle on the mini-links
Team rivalries are not just for the virtual world. Team Awesome and Team binkerton brought their team battle to the Santa Fe and Platte River courses at the official THW training grounds at Aqua Golf in Denver, CO. A third team, Team Duke, a team-up of Dude and GeekTHW, would also be in the mix directly challenging the other two teams. Could binkdog prevail and dominate on THW’s home ground? Would Team binkerton crumple like a deck of cards?
The teams decide to tackle the Santa Fe course first. Team binkerton comes out firing and quickly takes a 1UP lead by the 2nd. Team Awesome attempts to bring the game back to All Square but is denied, mainly by binkdog’s skillful navigation of the hazardly greens, made more difficult by having to carry enderdog through most of the holes. binkdog closes the door with a hole-in-one on the 11th, bringing the game to 3UP, in Team binkerton’s favor. Team Awesome fights against a dormie but all is lost on the 16th as binkdog wins the hole for Team binkerton.
But not so fast. What about the third team? Team Duke plays a great team game, with Dude and GeekTHW perfectly backing each other up. Good enough so, that they defeat both teams, going 3UP against Team Awesome and 1UP against Team binkerton—winning the round on the Santa Fe course.
Next up, the supposedly easier Platte River course. Team Awesome, determined to avoid another defeat manage to stay even with Team binkerton up until the 7th, when enderdog comes through and wins the hole. Team Awesome tries reclaim ground but falls back even further as enderdog aces the 11th, which goes unanswered by Team Awesome. Team binkerton puts Team Awesome into dormie mode on the 15th and go 3UP at the 16th, handing Team Awesome yet another loss, despite the fact that Team Awesome is dressed so much better than their rivals.
Buy hey, let’s not forget Team Duke. Again, the two players back each other up almost perfectly. They even answer enderdog’s hole-in-one on the 11th, with a hole-in-one of their own. They manage to go 1UP versus Team Awesome on the 17th, to which Team Awesome has no comeback. A win ensues for them against Team Awesome. However, Team Duke is not able to overcome a 2 stroke deficit to Team binkerton and give them a 2UP victory.
In personal competition, binkdog reigns supreme coming in with an overall 88 for both courses, handily beating out next place MacTHW by five strokes. The ultimate team victor is a toss up between Team binkerton and Team Duke, but what is for certain, Team Awesome gets to ride in the caboose, cool shirts and all.
Who’s Your Caddy?
Fresh off his victory at the real golfing at the mini-links, binkdog looks to challenge AshTHW, enderdog and Dude mano-a-mano on terra firma at the Fitzsimons Golf Course in Aurora, CO. MacTHW does not play on the non-fiction links and agrees to tag along only if he can caddy for AshTHW. Tee time was set kind of early at 10AM but the caddy manages to show up on time.
Befor going any further, the first-time caddy quickly learns these important lessons:
1.) All golfers DO NOT tee off simultaneously (which extends game time time)
2.) There no colorful ball “trails”, which would be extremely helpful in finding ball location
3.) Club distances in TW12 do not directly map to real world clubs, making it slightly difficult for the caddy to hand out the correct club. There is no option for adding “Power” to a club. Or spin. Nor is there an option to down-click in order to get additional loft.
4.) The golf course is full of other people and sunlight—two sworn enemies of MacTHW
enderdog tees off
The golfing quartet tees off at 10AM and gameplay is underway.
The caddy deduces that shade will need to be sought out and offers advice to his golfer that the best shot is always towards the shade. Luckily, AshTHW listens to his caddy and does his best to keep him shaded.
Ash provides shade for his caddy
For the next 4 hours the golfers take turns teeing off, reaching the green and sinking their putts. Shade is not always possible for the caddy, putting a strain on his golf-club-choosing abilities as he tries to ward off the brutal sun. Nonetheless, as holes come and go, he gains experience and knowledge vital to bettering his caddying abilities. He makes notes as he watches the different styles of each golfer as they make their way to the green, making his own way from shade tree to shade tree.
...in search of shade which can be hard to find sometimes
Eighteen holes and hundreds of strokes later, MacTHW reflects on lessons learned and, besides the four listed above, the real world and virtual world aren’t so different after all. Each player’s style is somewhat close as to what happens in the game. Player’s shots hooking or slicing. Finding themselves amongst the trees, in the rough or the sand. binking or knibing of the putts. Or flying an enderton over the green. Again and again. Just like in the game. Even the groans of “Aww, maaaaan” or “Knib’d it!” are all there. Only the ViaBanana Buzzsaws were missing. Despite having his skin ravaged by the unrelenting sun, the caddy had a great time and looks forward to leveling up his caddying skills in the future. Even the end results were equivalent to virtual-land, with binkdog edging out the rest of the competitors on the field, winning the round with a score in the 80s. If only the number one ranked THW Golf player wasn’t busy with other duties. Congratulations are in order for binkdog.
Afterwards, there was a unanimous decision amongst THW members that MacTHW should be bestowed the honor of being THW’s Greatest Caddy, as they had never been witness to such an awesome caddy. MacTHW’s style is indeed unique and awesome and well deserving of the title THW’s Greatest Caddy.
THW’s Greatest Caddy. Now available for hire.
Golfing in Darkness
The entire weekend wasn’t entirely devoid of virtual golfing. Ash and MacTHW met up at TPC Scottsdale for a round of sun-free golfing.
What starts out as a promising game turns into a bogey-fest come the 4th. Both players are over par at the turn and there are no signs of turning it around along the back. MacTHW wins the round with a 75 and Ash trails with a 91. The course record at TPC Scottsdale is safe for now.
More news to follow…
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