THW Golf Headlines

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Der Hund Spielt Sehr Schön

by MacTHW [additional text by binkdog]

In the run-up to the upcoming THW World Championships, the Texas Hund, or binkhund, appears to be fine tuning his game. Ash is on the injured reserve list and the enderhund excludes himself from six of the eight games played. We may be low on players but we’re fully stocked on fun. These are your headlines for the post-tournament weekend.

The binkhund looks like he might be pulling out of his months-long slump and beginning his ascent back up the leaderboard. Out of eight games, he wins five, ties one and barely misses out on the other two. His worst defeat was by a mere two strokes, losing to MacTHW 86 to 88 at Spyglass Hill. He handily defeats MacTHW at San Antonio by nine strokes, besting the People’s Champ 83 to 92. Pressure must still get to the old Hund, though, as his only failures occured when course records were on the line. He tied MacTHW at Scottsdale, shooting an 83, which unfortunately is still three strokes too many to take the record from enderdog/PointedMarlin. In a shootout at Royal County Down, the binkhund fails to fetch the record from MacTHW, losing 95-96.

The big beatdown came Saturday night, when The Hund goes on to win three straight games, completely shutting down the People’s Champ. binkdog wins at Royal Melbourne 87-89, Kiawah Island 89-93 and gives MacTHW “a preview of what is to come” at Sheshan by edging him out 84-86.

Does this mark the return of a new confident binkhund? Is it a weekend fluke or will the TexHund once again dominate the sport as he did during the inaugural THW Golf season? With enderdog in a slump of his own, the Hund may be poised to take second place very soon.

The tournament commences next weekend.

[EDIT: binkdog would like to add the following…
“While horse racing had the Breeder’s Crown, this Saturday at THW it was a Triple Crown, with Binkdog beating MacTHW 3 straight, sending the People’s Champ reeling into a crisis of confidence before the World Championships at Shesan. Can the champ recover in time?”]

Monday, October 21, 2013

Past and Present Weekend Headlines

by MacTHW

These are some of the highlights of missed headlines from the last two weeks.

enderdog claims the course record at Augusta 1934, besting the ‘Marlin by one stroke. The same game was also a simultaneous team game between Team binkerton and Team Leviathan, which teetered back and forth until the seesaw finally came to a rest in Team binkerton’s favor resulting in a 3UP victory. Team Leviathan goes 2-2-0.

Another record takeover event takes place at Oakmont where MacTHW manages to tie the record and beats enderdog by one stroke for the round victory. binkdog hangs out in the caboose.

binkdog badly wants to bring down the record at Scottsdale but a couple of bogies stand in his way, along with an enderdog who wins the round by two strokes.

Two assaults are launched at Colonial to dislodge binkdog’s record. MacTHW comes closest, missing out by two strokes. binkdog continues to keep his record at Colonial.

MacTHW and the ‘Marlin take a crack at Pinehurst No.2, two times. Each time, the ‘Marlin falls just shy of taking the record. The best attempt is an 86, two strokes shy of a new record.

MacTHW and enderdog sign off Friday evening after playing their last round at the Augusta Par 3. MacTHW finishes the round at even par, good enough to steal the record from the ‘Marlin, who’s course count now falls to three.

binkdog and MacTHW take a trip to Sheshan in order to preview the course for the upcoming THW World Championship. binkdog manages to tie the old record while MacTHW lowers his own record from 88 down to 82, which will surely go even lower after four tournament rounds.

And finally, binkdog and MacTHW try once again to take down the record at Scottsdale but the back nine will have none of it. binkdog gets a quad on the 11th while MacTHW cards a ten on the 15th, dashing the hopes and dreams of both players. The old record of 81 continues to stand.

binkdog adds the following…
“MacTHW gave out a couple of mini beatdowns, lowered his own record at Shesan, and then he and I both had the Scottsdale record in our grasp before I had a blowup 8 on a par4 and then he threw down a 10 on a par5 with some endersplash action.  I eeked out a 1 shot victory, but we both just missed the record.”

That’s the news. Catch everyone next weekend.

Friday, October 11, 2013

AshTHW on Injured Reserve List

From the desk of the intrepid reporter.

October 11, 2013 -Tragic news about THW member AshTHW. During his daily paragliding and beer brewing activity, AshTHW suffered a horrid injury which put him on the sidelines of the virtual links for the foreseeable future. He has an upper body injury which will prevent him from swinging the chicken stick without substantial pain. He is estimated to be on the injured reserve list for 2-4 weeks.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Introducing the EnderMelt®, Now Available at the THW Via Cup

by MacTHW

The endermelt…sounds like a great sandwich. Unfortunately, it’s not. Has a bad aftertaste from what we’ve heard. Muirfield is the host to the THW Via Cup this weekend at THW Golf. Six contenders step up to the tee box yet only three remain after four rounds. See who won and who didn’t in this edition of tournament headlines…

Joe Cool from IWGC makes an appearance at this year’s Via Cup and tees off along with the rest of the gang at Muirfield in search of his second tournament win.

enderdog and the ‘Marlin jump out into the lead early as they battle for first place. enderdog enjoys a five stroke advantage at the turn but the ‘Marlin puts the pressure on and turns the tables on enderdog along the back nine. enderdog ekes out a one stroke advantage after round one while Ash makes the dash for the caboose, beating out Joe Cool who turns in triple digits.

Round 1:

Ash drops out after round one leaving five contenders at the tee box for round two. enderdog once again jumps out front by four strokes after the first nine but the ‘Marlin manages to reel him in. Just like round one, enderdog squeaks by with a one stroke advantage over the ‘Marlin. binkdog makes a play for the caboose, narrowly beating out Joe Cool for the honor. After 36 holes, enderdog leads the ‘Marlin by two strokes. MacTHW sits in third, followed by binkdog in fourth and Joe Cool in fifth place.

Round 2:

Splitting the tournament into two days always seems to be an equalizer. Sometimes it’s a blessing, sometimes a curse. With Ash already out after round one, Joe Cool and the ‘Marlin fail to show at the tee box for round three, leaving just binkdog, enderdog and MacTHW to go the distance. With those players out, enderdog enjoys a spacious sixteen strokes advantage over MacTHW and twenty-five stroke advantage over binkdog. One would say the tournament is over, but we’ve seen this movie before.

binkdog and MacTHW are fired up and look to close the massive gap between themselves and the leader, enderdog. While both binkdog and MacTHW arrive at the turn at sub-forty scores, the enderdog is experiencing a meltdown of epic proportions. Nothing seems to go right, running into nothing but trouble from the get-go. enderdog gives up fifteen strokes to binkdog just along the front nine. binkdog and MacTHW are unable to maintain their aggressive pace along the back, but alas for the poor enderdog, the only luck he has along the back nine is bad luck as he falls back even further to the advancing duo.

In a complete reshuffle of the deck, MacTHW finds himself in the lead after round three, with enderdog trailing by one and binkdog by four. All of the sudden, we gang has themselves a new ballgame.

Round 3:

Looking to capitalize on the endermelt®, binkdog and MacTHW look to carve themselves out a lead but enderdog holds steady this round. binkdog gains two strokes on the crowd at the turn while enderdog stays even with MacTHW at 43. In another dramatic meltdown, binkdog finds himself in trouble with a quad-bogey on the 14th. Meanwhile, MacTHW, juts looking to maintain, fights to hold off a charging enderdog who, if he can’t win outright, wants to force a playoff. MacTHW avoids the double-bogey on the 18th and edges out enderdog by one stroke to take round four.

Round 4:

With drop-outs and endermelts® galore, this tournament was anyone’s game to win up until the last few holes of the last round. enderdog seems to be either on fire or cold as ice with no warmness in between as of late. Great tournament everyone and congrats to our winner, the People’s Champ!

Overall standings for the 2013 THW Via Cup:

Muirfield Village | Course PAR: 72 | Tournament PAR: 288
POS	Player	Round 1	Round 2	Round 3	Round 4	THRU	TOTAL	SCORE
1	MacTHW	86	92	89	83	72	350	+62
2	enderdog	77	85	106	84	72	352	+64
3	binkdog	91	96	84	90	72	361	+73
4	PointedMarlin	78	86	—	—	36	164	DNF
5	IWGCJoeCool	102	94	—	—	36	196	DNF
6	Ash	131	—	—	—	18	131	DNF

Sunday, September 22, 2013

The Bolt-Action Challenge Remains a Cruel, Cruel Mistress

by MacTHW

This weekend plays host to the 2013 Bolt-Action Challenge at East Lake. This tournament has a history of testing a players resolve and sees more than it’s fair share of DNFs. Simulation Mode is sure to continue the pattern of tough play at East Lake, which is not an easy course to play anyways. The greens are hard to approach and then once on the green, the game’s somewhat misleading display of the slope make it easy to slide one by…going, going, gone. Difficulty aside, binkdog gets set to defend his 2012 championship while enderdog sets his sights on his second major of the season. These are your headlines for the 2013 Bolt-Action Challenge.

The ‘Marlin arrives at the tee box ready to claim his second major of the season. (All wagering contestants—your Marlin bets need to be turned in STAT). East Lake shows it’s defiance early, with players finding it difficult to find the bottom of the cup on the first hole. What a tough neighborhood! The ‘Marlin claims he was robbed multiple times throughout the round while binkdog’s wheels fly off on the back nine. Fortunately, everyone finds trouble at some point and no one has played themselves out of the tournament, yet. Scores are close, with only six strokes separating first and last place.

Round 1:

The ‘Marlin survives round one and continues with round two. While everyone else is turning in bogeys or worse, a lone voice occasionally shouts out a tweet. A quick check at the turn sees enderdog ahead by eight strokes. Apparently, an endercharge is underway. The chase group attempts to close the gap but the gas tank is empty. While enderdog blazes the trail of Course Records, binkdog and the others sputter along competing for second. The ‘Marlin and MacTHW both struggle along the back nine, which results in a battle for the caboose instead…with binkdog safely in second. Frustrations surface and East Lake may be ready to claims it’s first victim.

Round 2:

After two rounds, enderdog enjoys a fourteen stroke lead over second place ‘Marlin. MacTHW is fifteen strokes back and binkdog is only one stroke back from there. With the exception of the one anomaly, the ender-nomaly, only two strokes separates second and fourth places. Moving Day should be interesting, especially if enderdog is generous and gives back his lead. It’s been known to happen…and so is a DNF.

Before the tournament kicks off on Saturday evening, news arrives that enderdog will indeed be giving up his lead…his entire lead, as an endermergency has come up and he will not be able to continue on. Suddenly, three dejected golfers have a new glimmer in their eyes. Hopes and Dreams renewed.

It’s Moving Day and three THW golfers arrived at the tee box for round three. With only two strokes separating them, it was time for someone to open up a commanding lead. The ‘Marlin charges forward while both binkdog and MacTHW leave their transmission in reverse. Gone are the woes from the night before as the ‘Marlin has no problems finding the greens and sinking his Beasts and Leviathans. binkdog and MacTHW see way too much yellow and blue and not enough fairway. Creative shots from the rough and out from behind tress only get you so far. The ‘Marlin opens up an eleven stroke lead after round three, leaving binkdog a tough road ahead if he wants to reclaim his Bolt-Action Challenge championship.

Round 3:

The final round starts with binkdog and MacTHW needing to make up serious ground on the leader. The hard-charging ‘Marlin cedes no ground as binkdog fumbles his tee shots and MacTHW consistently misses putts from two feet or less. The ‘Marlin’s MOVE is hot and continues it’s dominance on the back nine. MacTHW is busy holding off binkdog as to not lose his grip on second place. CrankyPants McGee shows up for a brief moment but is chased off the field almsot immediately. The ‘Marlin handily takes the fourth round with a 79 on the scorecard.

Round 4:

Final standings after four rounds:

East Lake | Course PAR: 70 | Tournament PAR: 280
POS	Player	Round 1	Round 2	Round 3	Round 4	THRU	TOTAL	SCORE
1	PointedMarlin	88	91	83	79	72	341	+61
2	MacTHW	89	91	94	91	72	365	+85
3	binkdog	94	87	99	93	72	373	+93
4	enderdog	90	75	—	—	36	165	DNF

MacTHW was plagued by the “blue arrow” throughout the tournament, often finding a water hazard instead of the fairway. Hole six proved especially difficult as MacTHW found the creek in three of four rounds. binkdog struggled through a very rough third round but found the Texas-sized stones to continue on and finish the tournament. A near rage-quitting ‘Marlin found new inspiration during round three and not only completed all four rounds but wins himself another major tournament. This is his second of the season. (Lesson to be learned—don’t bet against the ‘Marlin). But most unfortunate was the ender-DNF. enderdog has a habit of digging himself a deep hole from which he usually emerges in spectacular fashion. There are plenty more tournaments to come. This is not enderdog’s first DNF at the Bolt-Action Challenge. He bowed out of last year’s as well.