THW Golf Headlines

Thursday, September 19, 2013

2013 Bolt-Action Challenge

by MacTHW

Ready. Aim. Tee Off.

binkdog gets to defend his 2012 championship title at the Bolt-Action Challenge. Last year, Ash, enderdog and PointedMarlin all DNF’d out of the tournament, leaving only Dude and MacTHW as binkdog’s beatdown recipients as he finished the tournament at 6 over PAR. Will binkdog be handed another victory on a silver platter? Can enderdog make it two consecutive majors in a row or will the Book Club come calling? Will PointedMarlin play all for rounds?

Here is your invite for the 2013 Bolt-Action Challenge at East Lake.

See you on the links this Friday.

[Update: I thought I’d update with a small explanation of the poster…the poster was inspired by the Menu screen from Call of Duty 1. See below

The DNF option was thrown in for our friend PointedMarlin ]

Friday, September 13, 2013

Enderdog Goes For the Trifecta at the S-Mart Classic

by MacTHW

The S-Mart Classic plays at the open-aire St. Andrews this year. Five golfers line up at the tee box ready to play themselves out of the tournaments at a moments notice. enderdog is back to defend his championship from 2012. The deep pot bunkers and tough greens are sure to cause havoc amongst our golfers. The ‘Marlin joins the fray and bets are on as to what round/hole he may make his exit on. These are your slightly delayed but never late headlines for the 2013 S-Mart Classic.

The Old Course at St. Andrews plays host to this years THW S-Mart Classic. binkdog proclaims that he will take the first round in order to lay down a precedent for the rest of the tournament. He makes good on that promise, laying down a consistent 42 on the front and 42 on the back but our defending champion enderdog is lurking a mere three strokes back. The ‘Marlin finishes out the top three at 88.

MacTHW hopes to get himself back in the tournament after shooting a 92 last round. Unfortunately, things get worse and MacTHW follows up his previous score with an even worse 97. Meanwhile, enderdog is busy raking the sand traps with his competitors, shooting a 37 on the front and following that up with a 36 on the back. enderdog carves out a massive 16 stroke chasm between himself and the rest of the field. The ‘Marlin trundles in with an 89 and binkdog follows with a 90.

After two rounds, enderdog leads the tournament by 14 strokes. binkdog sits in second place and the ‘Marlin takes third. MacTHW and Ash round out the group, sitting in fourth and fifth place, respectively.

The refreshed golfers return to the links for moving day. Even the ‘Marlin returns, so whoever had bets on the first and second rounds is out. Keeping CrankyPants McGee at bay, binkdog eagerly arrives looking to make up lost strokes, be it via on-target gameplay or an ender-choke. Keeping a tight grip on his Hopes and Dreams jars, enderdog refuses to give up any significant strokes as none of the golfers can gain any traction. MacTHW wins the third round but only makes a small 3 stroke dent in the lead.

The final round kicks off with enderdog holding a 13 stroke lead over the field. He stubbornly refuses to yield his march to victory as he runs over Ash, binkdog and MacTHW up and down the nines. The force to DNF is strong within the ‘Marlin, who finally gives in and abandons on the 16th hole of the fourth round. Anyone with the winning ticket, please report to the THW Gaming Committee on Monday to claim your prize. enderdog wins the fourth round with ease and claims his first major championship of the season.

enderdog’s victory at the S-Mart Classic marks the first time a player has won three consecutive championships at the same tournament. enderdog has won each and every S-Mart Classic and is the sole S-Mart Classic champion thus far. Does he play better in the fall or is it something about the East Lake course? We’ll have to see next year, when enderdog will once again defend at the S-Mart Classic. This weekend’s victory also marks the return of a classic enderdog signature—during tournament play, go ridiculously low on one round, causing the rest of the field to play catch-up. His 73 on the second round is proof in the pudding. Ash keeps his iron grip on the caboose.

Final standings after four rounds:

St. Andrews | Course PAR: 72 | Tournament PAR: 288
POS	Player	Round 1	Round 2	Round 3	Round 4	THRU	TOTAL	SCORE
1	enderdog	87	73	83	83	72	326	+38
2	binkdog	84	90	82	95	72	351	+63
3	MacTHW	92	97	80	87	72	356	+68
4	AshTHW	123	104	113	104	72	444	+156
5	PointedMarlin	88	89	87	—	54	264	DNF

QUICK STATS

This tournament weekend, the average round score was a 93.

For individual players:

enderdog - 86
MacTHW - 88
Marlin - 88
binkdog - 91
Ash - 110

enderdog now holds 21.5 course pro records. MacTHW, slowly leaking courses, holds 14.5 records. binkdog and the ‘Marlin each hold four.

The Bolt-Action Challenge at East Lake is quickly approaching. enderdog is surely already practicing. Bets are now being accepted for the PointedMarlin DNF probability. Side bets as to whether CrankyPants McGee makes an appearance at the Bolt-Action Challenge are also being taken.

Thursday, September 05, 2013

2013 S-Mart Classic Invitation

by MacTHW

Here is your invitation for the 2013 S-Mart Classic. This year we tackle the tournament at St. Andrews. Can enderdog make it three in a row and remain the one and only champion of the S-Mart Classic, having won it in both 2011 and 2012.

Monday, September 02, 2013

The Boston Tee Party Recap, CrankyPants McGee Makes Brief Appearance

by MacTHW

It’s another tournament weekend here at THW Golf. binkdog gets set to defend his crown at the THW Boston Championship, which was last played in 2010 on the Wii console, pre-Chicken Stick and pre-poster prize even. In other words…a loooooong time ago. How will binkdog fare in the world of PS3? enderdog is in need of a win and even though this is a minor tournament, it could keep him ahead in rank and possibly up his Housewares Cup points. The ‘Marlin throws his hat into the competition but will he stick around for all four rounds? These are your headlines for the THW Boston Championship.

We have five entrants for this weekend’s competition. The start is signaled and it’s time to FIGHT, Round One!

MacTHW takes the early lead, carefully navigating the Lateral Hazard-laden fairways. Staying mostly out of trouble, he hits the turn at 40. The ‘Marlin is six strokes back but starts a charge along the back nine. binkdog and enderdog hang out in the middle of the pack and Ash plants himself firmly in the caboose. MacTHW emerges victorious after round one with an 83 on the scorecard. The ‘Marlin is three back, binkdog nine back, enderdog twelve back and Ash more than twelve back.

Round two sees both the ‘Marlin and MacTHW on pace for a course record. The ‘Marlin picks up a stroke on the leader by the turn, shooting a low score of 38. enderdog is nearby with a 41. As the back nine commences, binkdog disappears and the dreaded CrankyPants McGee has taken his place. That guy. Again. While McGee may be obnoxious and quite ill-mannered, he can play some golf. McGee shoots a 39 along the back, helping to get binkdog’s score back into the game. Unfortunately, MacTHW is locked in battle with the ‘Marlin for the course record and both of them shoot low scores also. The ‘Marlin misses a critical putt and both Team Leviathan teamies end up tied for the round at 79, both besting the previous record of 80 and now share the record at TPC Boston.

After round two, MacTHW leads by three over the ‘Marlin and seventeen over binkdog, the nearest competitor. enderdog is 25 back and Ash even more.

It’s time for round three. Who has their moving truck packed, ready to go? Will binkdog show up or will it be CrankyPants McGee. The ‘Marlin drops out of competition and Ash also chooses a DNF, leaving just three golfers to go on. Luckily, binkdog arrives at the tee box. The clubs must have cooled off as no one is playing low during the front nine of the third round. enderdog, binkdog and MacTHW hit the turn at 43, 44 and 44 respectively. binkdog chooses to go low along the back nine while enderdog opts for the exact opposite, shooting into the stratosphere instead, while MacTHW just keeps his average pace. Staying out of the Lateral Hazards appears to be a challenge this round. binkdog’s round-ending 83 gains two strokes on MacTHW and twelve on enderdog.

The last round sees binkdog and enderdog needing to gain a lot of ground on MacTHW who just seems to play carefully and steady. binkdog and MacTHW both struggle along the front nine, but not as much as enderdog who won’t stop digging the hole he’s in. binkdog fails to threaten MacTHW’s lead and enderdog continues to lose ground along the back nine. enderdog is not used to these types of beatdowns but he begrudgingly continues to soldier on. binkdog runs into trouble with Lateral Hazards along the back, preventing him from making gains on the leader. MacTHW takes round four with a score of 84.

Final Standings After Four Rounds:

TPC Boston | Course PAR: 71 | Tournament PAR: 284
POS	Player	Round 1	Round 2	Round 3	Round 4	THRU	TOTAL	SCORE
1	MacTHW	83	79	85	84	72	331	+47
2	binkdog	92	87	83	89	72	351	+67
3	enderdog	95	92	95	99	72	381	+97
4	PointedMarlin	86	79	—	—	36	165	DNF
5	AshTHW	103	137	—	—	36	240	DNF

The once mighty hurricane enderdog has been reduced to a slight breeze at TPC Boston. binkdog tells McGee to get lost. MacTHW enjoys a victory, making it his second minor tournament of the season.

Looking out on the horizon, it is already time for our next major tournament…the S-Mart Classic played at St. Andrews this year. enderdog will defend his championship against a pack of golfers hungry for their next major victory. Good news, though. No trees at St. Andrews.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Weekend Recap

by MacTHW

Various members of THW Golf community were out during the weekend, making it Open Season on course records. This is a weekend recap but we’ll still call ‘em Headlines anyways.

A new golfing team was created over the weekend. Team Pointerton, a team-up of enderdog and PointedMarlin, looks to make their mark on the team scene.

binkdog was away so the crew will play…at the Atlanta Athletic Club. binkdog holds the current record with a low round score of 79. Three attempts were made on the record but it was never in any danger. The closest attempt came from MacTHW, who went low on the back nine after shooting a 43 on the front but ended up with an 81 after all was finished. Team Awesome played Team Pointerton at Atlanta Athletic but went down in flames as Pointerton wins it at 6UP.

Torrey Pines, Costa Navarino and Spyglass were all attempted but no one managed to threaten any records.

MacTHW puts up his record at Wolf Creek and loses it to enderdog, who dominated both the front and back nines, coming in at 82 and shattering the old record by 10 strokes. Meanwhile, Team Pointerton made easy work of Team Awesome, giving them a beatdown at 6UP.

MacTHW puts up yet another course, which goes bye-bye to nemesis course-stealer enderdog. At least this time, MacTHW puts up a valiant defense and falls one stroke short of defeating enderdog who comes in with a 76, good enough to assume Course Pro duties at Banff. Team Leviathan takes on Team binkerton at Banff and earn their first loss, with Team binkerton winning at 2UP.

binkdog offers up his record at Colonial and it is nearly taken by MacTHW, who just couldn’t close the deal after running into troubles along the back nine.

The average score shot this weekend is a 95. The individual players shot averages of:

Mac - 86 (two better than previous week)
Ash - 121 (up eleven from previous week)
binkdog - 92 (up five from previous week)
enderdog - 89 (one stroke better than previous week)
Marlin - 89 (one better than last week)

Catch everyone next weekend at the THW Boston Championship, a minor tournament seeing binkdog defending his championship won there during the Wii years.