THW Golf Headlines

Sunday, August 11, 2013

enderdog’s Major Opportunity at the Senior Tour Invitational Slides RIGHT By

by MacTHW

It’s time for another major tournament here at THW Golf and this time around it’s binkdog’s Senior Tour Invitational. binkdog won his namesakes tournament last year at Kiawah Island and looks to defend his championship at Oak Hill this year. Still riding high with his THW Green Jacket win, the ‘Marlin throws his hat into the competition. Rank and THW Cup points are on the line. Yeehaw and Daggum!, these are your headlines for the tournament weekend.

Oak Hill is a tough course to beat. If you find yourself off of the fairway, you’re most likely staring down or around the trunk of a tree or worse, on the bottom of a creek the gently meanders throughout the course. Somehow, enderdog shot an amazing 71 there once, so the course record may not be at risk…but five golfers are lined up at the tee box ready to give it a try. enderdog has yet to win a major this year, so he’s coming into this one hungry as can be. binkdog needs this win in order to retain second place and cut into MacTHW’s lead.

Jitters aside, it’s time to tee off.

The front nine of round one shows the players have come to compete. Granted, Ash appears to be competing for the caboose and books an early reservation to keep the rest of the players out. Scores are close at the turn…mostly in the forties, but only four strokes separate first and fourth place with enderdog leading the pack at 42. MacTHW applies pressure along the back nine but enderdog answers with an eagle on the 17th. binkdog stays close but the ‘Marlin chokes out, falling to fourth place after the first round. enderdog leads by three as the golfers prepare for round two.

Round 1:

It’s time for round two and our friend across the pond vows to make a comeback. Ash books another round in the caboose hoping to add points to his Frequent Riders card. binkdog steps up his game in an attempt to provide a proper defense of his championship title. The ‘Marlin wants a victory more than binkdog and leads by three at the turn. binkdog turns up the heat along the back. Although there are no birdies on the scorecard for anyone, binkdog manages to avoid bogies and plays mostly par golf while everyone else scrambles in for bogey or worse. binkdog keeps the ‘Marlin at bay and takes the win for round 2, besting the ‘Marlin by three shots.

Round 2:

binkdog leads by eights strokes after round two. enderdog and Mac are tied for second and the ‘Marlin is nine strokes off the lead. Ash secures his spot in the back.

As Ash takes off for the evening, the remaining golfers relax at Oakmont, looking to break up the shared three-way course record there. It’s also a team game, with Team binkerton taking on the scrappy and undefeated Team Leviathan. Bogies rule the scorecard for most of the front nine but binkdog strings together enough pars to take the lead by the turn. The score is close for the team game as well, with Team Leviathan 1UP after the 9th. enderdog is on track to shoot triple digits and needs to turn things around. binkdog has his eye on the record and keeps his scores to par or bogey along the back. enderdog hops aboard the Par Express but looks like he may be playing for third. Meanwhile the team game is a stale-mate at 1UP until the 15th, when Team binkerton finally manages to bring the game back to All Square. MacTHW answers with a birdie on the 16th to make it 1UP again for Team Leviathan. In singles competition, binkdog plays it safe and finishes the round with an 83…good enough to break the three-way course record and put it in his name only. Team binkerton, however, are dormie on the 18th and fail to take the hole, giving Team Leviathan another team victory.

Oakmont:

It’s now Saturday, or as we like to call it, moving day. Although the ‘Marlin was hungry for victory the day before, he reluctantly has to bow out of the tournament, leaving Ash, binkdog, enderdog and MacTHW to vie for the championship. Ash books a third night for the caboose in hopes of getting the fourth night for free. binkdog, enderdog and MacTHW slug it out along the front nine. enderdog and MacTHW are tied at 43 with binkdog two strokes back after the 9th. enderdog and MacTHW apply the screws to binkdog who completely derails and gives back his overall lead…and then some. MacTHW wins the slugfest along the back as enderdog watches most of his putts miss to the right for some reason. MacTHW wins round three as both enderdog and MacTHW overtake binkdog, who falls back two strokes to third place.

Round 3:

It’s the last round of the tournament and scores are close. MacTHW leads by a sliver, just one stroke ahead of enderdog and two strokes ahead of binkdog. It’s still anyone’s game and the word on the street has it that the fairway is the place to be. Ash redeems his rewards card and claims the caboose for the fourth straight night. How quickly things can change when scores are close. binkdog wins the race to the turn, besting MacTHW by two strokes and enderdog by four, which now makes him tied for first and sends enderdog to third (who continues to send his putts slightly to the right of the cup). MacTHW plays the back nine safe, trying to stay out of the trees. enderdog does the same, keeping his scores to par or bogey. binkdog hangs in there as well until the 16th, when the patented Binkdog Choke takes hold and binkdog finishes out the round with double, quad and single bogey. MacTHW wins the round with an 85 and wins the tournament outright, avoiding any sort of playoff scenario at the Augusta Par 3.

Round 4:

What an exciting tournament. The contenders battled fiercely until the 72nd hole of the tournament, where the outcome was not certain until MacTHW managed to sink his bogey putt on the 18th, sealing his victory at binkdog’s Senior Tour Invitational, making it his second major championship of the season. enderdog manages to slide by binkdog into second, leaving third for binkdog and fourth for Ash. MacTHW moves ahead of binkdog in the THW Cup points race as well.

Final Results:

Oak Hill CC | Course PAR: 71 | Tournament PAR: 284
POS	Player	Round 1	Round 2	Round 3	Round 4	THRU	TOTAL	SCORE
1	MacTHW	85	93	83	85	72	346	+62
2	enderdog	82	96	84	89	72	351	+67
3	binkdog	87	83	93	90	72	353	+69
4	AshTHW	114	108	113	102	72	437	+153
5	PointedMarlin	36	93	86	—	—	179	DNF

One more game was played after the tournament, where MacTHW stole the Augusta, Saturday pins course record from the ‘Marlin, shooting a 90 to beat the previous record of 93.

Augusta, Saturday:

Thank you to all the golfers to participated in the binkdog Senior Tour Invitational and for making a very exciting and fun weekend. Our next tournament is coming up soon, the THW Boston Championship, where binkdog is once again set to defend his championship title. See you there.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

2013 binkdog Senior Tour Invitational Invitation

by MacTHW

It’s that time of the year again where we celebrate binkdog’s oldness by playing in binkdog’s Senior Tour Invitational. binkdog won his namesake tournament at Kiawah Island last year and is looking to make a valiant defense of his championship this year at Oak Hill. This is a major tournament and both rank and THW Cup points are up for grabs. enderdog is looking for his first win at a major and could come into the tournament “well practiced”.

Here is your invitation for binkdog’s Senior Tour Invitational at Oak Hill. This year, binkdog invades our club logo and shows off his new cowboy golf boots.

YEEHAW! FORE!

Sunday, August 04, 2013

THW Golf at the Movies

by MacTHW

Its Movie Night this weekend at THW Golf and we’ve got an action drama for you starring Ash as ‘Ash’, enderdog as ‘The enderdog’, MacTHW as ‘The Peoples Champ’ and binkdog as ‘CrankyPants McGee’. It’s light on plot but heavy on virtual golfing drama. Welcome to Headlines, our first direct-to-weblog text-only movie filmed on virtual locations such as Oakmont, Pebble Beach and Sawgrass.

The movie opens with our protagonist, The People’s Champ, hanging out at the tee box at Augusta National set to Thursday pins. He is joined by the anatgonists—enderdog and CrankPants McGee. It has been revealed that in the prior week, the ‘Marlin announced he would not be playing this weekend, meaning it was Open Season on his Course Pro records. So, for a time being (and reasons not revealed), MacTHW joins his foes in bringing down the record at Augusta-Thursday.

Round one could be best described as a warm up round. Errant tee shots and approach shots galore. Bunkers—most of those were disturbed. enderdog tries to fire up the enderbot but it doesn’t work. The current record of 92 looks safe as our trio rounds the turn. CrankyPants is agitated as he cards a 9 and an 11 on the back. MacTHW is not faring much better, struggling with his own exceeded shot limit on the 17th. enderdog makes a valiant run at the record but comes up short—one stroke short. But he wins the round.

Augusta Thursday:

Our story quickly shifts to the competition happening on the leaderboard. At the start of the round, enderdog is a mere .250 points away from second and this win has now dislodged CrankyPants McGee from the second place spot.

Back to the field. enderdog does not take failure easily and wants another shot at Augusta set to Thursday pins. They tee off again in search of lower scores. Augusta proves to an unmanageable beast, although McGee and enderdog are tied heading into the turn. The enderbot kicks in on the 13th as enderdog throws down an eagle and then birdie on the 17th, leaving McGee and MacTHW to scrap it out for second. Already five shots down since the turn, MacTHW loses two more shots to CrankyPants along the back. enderdog takes first place and the record at Augusta Thursday with his 84.

Augusta Thursday:

A quick view of the ranking leaderboard now shows enderdog in second place.

The next record to be poached is Oakmont. Our protagonist has a strong showing on the front nine, causing roaring cheers to erupt along the crowd-lined fairways, where even our bunker-bound villains can hear the chants of “People’s Champ, People’s Champ”. The antagonists must feed on negative energy as they rebound along the back nine, chewing into MacTHW’s lead along the front. It all comes down to the 18th, as the game is close and is still anyone’s game. The pressure is on as it looks like anyone with par can win the round. A hush falls over the Peoples Champ’s fans as they witness a small collapse on the part of MacTHW who would go on to triple bogey the hole. enderdog’s fans cheer him on loudly but the best he can muster is double bogey. McGee’s fan claps as loud as he can, waving a big number one foam finger. Old CrankyPants manages to bogey the hole which…causes a three-way tie, with each person beating the previous course record. Yes, a three-way tie AND a first ever in THW Golf history, a three-way course record split. The ‘Marlin is out but enderdog, MacTHW and McGee now share the record at Oakmont!

Oakmont:

Meanwhile, backstage we see CrankyPants McGee say “Daggum! Dog-gone it, I don’t want to be sharin’ no record with that goody two-shoe MacTHW. Anyone want to come swim in mah pool?” while stomping his cowboy golf boot in the sand. enderdog adds “That record should be all MINE, MINE, MINE instead of HIS, HIS and MINE” as he lobs his headset against the wall.

After the golfers collect themselves, they decide on one more round at Scottsdale, looking to get rid of the shared record there. MacTHW enjoys a good front nine as he ekes out a two stroke lead over enderdog at the turn. CrankyPants is muttering something to himself but no one can hear him all the way back in the caboose. The record slowly eludes all players as they rack up bogies of the double and triple kind along the back. MacTHW clings to his small lead and bests enderdog by one shot. McGee trundles in 8 shots back.

Scottsdale:

Ash and McGee return to the links on Saturday but enderdog is trapped in a theater and can’t get out. This immediately switches the game from Open Season on ‘Marlin courses to Open Season on enderdog courses.

The drama intensifies as CrankyPants McGee sees this as his chance to get second place back from enderdog and right the wrong from the previous day. First up is Pebble Beach. MacTHW manages to card four birdies along the front, leaving CrankyPants McGee six shots back. Ash has to drop out on the 11th, leaving just MacTHW and McGee battling for the record. The back nine proves to be quite tough as the golfers find themselves in lots of sand. MacTHW hangs tough while CrankyPants dials up the crank a few notches and goes into Super-CrankyPants mode. MacTHW wins the round and snags himself a record from the enderdog.

Pebble:

Next up, a record attempt at Sawgrass. Ash immediately makes a dash for the caboose and locks himself in it. McGee leads by one stroke at the turn but the record is still within grabs for both McGee and MacTHW. MacTHW does his best to minimize the bogies along the back while McGee goes on a mission to land his chips and pitches anywhere but on the green. McGee appears to be making a run for the caboose but Ash won’t unlock the door. MacTHW does his best to stay out of trouble and ends the round five shots better than the previous record.

Sawgrass:

After MacTHW’s win at Sawgrass, McGee announces he is too cranky to go on and needs to bink in order to rest for next week’s binkdog Senior Tour Invitational Oak Hill.

After the weekend is done and over with, the battle for second place ends with…

dun dun dun…

...enderdog still being .250 points from second place, exactly where he started the weekend.

The credits start to roll and then we cut to binkdog waking up from a nightmare, where he dreamt that he had a winless weekend and enderdog had overtaken him in the standings. He breathes a sigh of relief but then notices he is still wearing his pair of CrankyPants. Cold sweat. Eyes wide open.

Maybe it wasn’t a dream…

Sunday, July 28, 2013

2013 THW Players Championship Shirt Presentation

by MacTHW

Prizes from the last round of tournaments are starting to trickle out.

binkdog, the defending champion of the 2012 THW Players Championship was hard to track down as he does what he can to avoid these sort of things. We caught up with him poolside at his luxurious Texas resort and begrudgingly got him to present the winning shirt to this year’s champion, MacTHW.

“It feels good to once again win a championship, especially after the horrible dry spell of the Xbox season. I want to thank all of my fans in believing in the People’s Champ. This one is for all of you”, quipped the champ, but it fell on deaf ears, as binkdog was already back to skimming for algae.

Check back soon for the ShadeTree Classic shirt presentation, which will be awarded to binkdog, that is, if we can tear him away from his pool long enough.

The Enderbot Is Only Getting Warmed Up, Threatens More Records

by MacTHW

enderdog returns to the virtual links, still on the war path, looking for any course records he can get his hands on, like an addict in need of a hit. The ‘Marlin looks to challenge enderdog and stand in his way to total victory. Ash shares what he likes to keep in jars, but it isn’t hopes and dreams. binkdog and MacTHW hang in there, just trying to keep their ranking from being sacked by the relentless march of the enderbot. These are your headlines for the golfing weekend.

Round one of Friday night starts off with a hostile takeover attempt of Whistling Straits spearheaded by the bink and ender dogs. enderdog’s new swing-robot is already warmed up as he easily takes the lead by the turn. MacTHW attempts to gain some ground along the back but he is no match for enderdog’s mechanical automation and loses yet another course record to enderdog, who is on a tear right now, grabbing records from just about everyone. MacTHW’s only consolation comes from the fact that he edges out his old nemesis binkdog by three strokes and takes second place.

Whistling:

Team games are finally back as Team Awesome takes on Team binkerton at Whistling Straits. The awesome duo manages to hold off the ruthless hounds until the 14th, where Team Binkerton takes the win at 6UP.

enderdog calls for his rematch at Crooked Stick to get back the record which was taken by PointedMarlin the week before. He taunts enderdog by telling that he and his cheat-robot should “bring it”, which was probably a bad move, as enderdog cranked up the cheat dial up a level. The enderbot gains a two stroke advantage over the ‘Marlin as they hit the turn, with binkdog and MacTHW close behind. The enderbot does not let up along the back as the ‘Marlin falls back another two strokes. enderbot reclaims the record at Crooked Stick, besting the ‘Marlin by four strokes. Meanwhile, binkdog and MacTHW duke it out for third place. MacTHW stumbles and allows binkdog a one stroke advantage as MacTHW settles for fourth. Ash happily maintains control of the caboose.

Crooked:

The ‘Marlin has time for the Augusta Par 3 and takes aim at binkdog’s record of 34. The Par 3 is a tricky beast and everyone seems to have their nemesis hole. enderdog finds trouble on the 2nd and 9th. Ash has trouble on the 1st and 9th. binkdog’s wheels come off on the 6th. The ‘Marlin is looking record-bound come the 8th. But so is MacTHW, having only 25 strokes on the scorecard as he tees off on the 8th. Unfortunately, 5 water balls later, MacTHW is out of the running while the ‘Marlin grabs the record from binkdog, beating it by one stroke.

The ‘Marlin takes off for Friday and the remaining golfers head back to Oak Hill, where MacTHW is owed a rematch after binkdog snags the shared record. Something is wrong with the enderbot, as he allows binkdog to take the lead at the turn. enderdog attempts to make adjustments to the device but binkdog is on a roll. He avoids most of the trees and gets his approach shots close. A strong showing on the front nine allow binkdog to escape with victory as he lows his own record, bringing it down to an 82.

Oak Hill:

Team Awesome and Team binkerton once again go head-to-head as teams at Oak Hill. Team binkerton mercilessly hands out the beatdown, going 7UP by the turn. Three holes later they finish the game, going 8UP.

Ash and binkdog retire for the evening, leaving enderdog and MacTHW to play one more round at Oak Hill. enderdog takes all the limiters off of the enderbot and procedes to shoot a 71, a tie with the current season record low score. He sets the new record at Oak Hill very low, while MacTHW manages to shoot an 82.

Oak Hill:

Saturday starts out with another battle at Oak Hill. binkdog is looking to get his course back from enderdog, but a 71 will be hard to beat. No one is one pace to beat the record come the turn, although enderdog does enjoy a seven stroke lead. Things fall apart for enderdog along the back but at the same time, things are coming together for the ‘Marlin, who overtakes the ailing ‘dog and beats him into submission by six strokes come the end of the round. No one takes the record but the ‘Marlin takes the win with an 82.

Oak Hill:

Next up is Augusta, Sunday pins. binkdog needs to defend yet another course record and he grows weary of this, getting angry at MacTHW. Scores are tight at the turn but things fall apart quickly for enderdog and MacTHW along the back. The ‘Marlin refuses to stumble and beats the current course record and beats binkdog for the round victory. The ‘Marlin snags another course record, giving him 8.5 records overall.

Augusta Sunday:

binkdog looks for his re-match at the Augusta Par 3, which the ‘Marlin snagged from him the previous night. The ‘Marlin comes out of the gate hot and calling out “tweet” on the first hole. enderdog and MacTHW try to keep pace and the game is close come the 9th. MacTHW can’t close the deal and bogies the 9th. enderdog rolls in with par as well as the ‘Marlin. enderdog and MacTHW tie at 31 each and the ‘Marlin squeaks by with a 30, setting his previous record four strokes lower. The ‘Marlin gets to keep his Augusta Par 3.

The last round of the evening is at Pinehurst. The undulating greens give binkdog and MacTHW problems but enderdog seems to have no problems finding the bottom of the cup. He enjoys a five stroke lead at the turn. binkdog steps it up after the 10th while enderdog does everything he can do to give it away. MacTHW manages to tie it up with binkdog along the back but loses it all on the 17th and 18th. enderdog ekes out a one stroke victory at Pinehurst.

Pinehurst:

enderdog’s epiphany on the virtual links is skyrocketing him towards the number one spot…and fast. He is now within .250 points of second place and only 16.250 points stand between him and first. His ascent is fueled not only by his wins but by the number of course records he is taking away from others. He now holds an unprecedented 20.5 course records, with MacTHW a distant 12 course records behind. The ‘Marlin holds 8.5 and binkdog 3. He shot an average of 85 this weekend while binkdog shot 88 (down 2), MacTHW 91 (up 3) and Ash 123 (down 4). The ‘Marlin came in with the lowest AVG round, however, at 82 (down 6). The overall AVG round was a 94, up seven strokes from last weekend’s 87.

Everyone is going to need to step up the pace to fend off the ender-scourge, who is quickly attempting to assimilate any and all records and round wins possible. Out of the nine rounds played this weekend, enderdog won four, the ‘Marlin won four and binkdog won one of them, leaving MacTHW and Ash winless for the weekend.